As is the case every year, CBR headquarters saw its fair share of trick-or-treaters from the college football world stop by last night. We picked out a few of our favorites.
Nick Saban: An Enema
The Nicktator doesn’t really do “fun,” which makes coming up with a Halloween costume a tall order. His friends – make that “acquaintances” – often tell him, “Nick, you’re as fun as an enema.” Ergo…
DeLoss Dodds: Judge Smails
After a day spent looking for quarters in the cushions of the Texas student center’s couches, Dodds didn’t have time to make it to the costume shop to get his Robin Hood suit this year. In a pinch, Texas’ athletic director just grabbed some of his golfing duds and dressed up like his favorite character from Caddyshack.
Bill Snyder: Gandalf
Kansas State’s coach has clearly been reading his press clippings. After all the talk about his wizardry this season, Snyder decided to roll in the purple robe that he usually lounges around in in the Kansas State locker room.
Snyder made a sour face when we offered him a Snickers, asking if we had any prunes instead.
Vontaze Burfict: A Yellow Flag
Yeah, really original, Vontaze.
(Please don’t tell him we said that…)
SEC: The Hulk
College football’s most muscle-bound conference showed up at CBR’s door looking awfully agitated. It just kept murmuring, “SEC! SEC! SEC!”
ESPN: A Sexy Devil
The Worldwide Leader knows just how tempting she is, with her luscious long-term TV contracts and eye-popping production values.
Who would’ve imagined the devil would look like Linda Cohn standing on our front step?
Andrew Luck: Harry Potter
Luck seems like a player version of Bill Snyder, doesn’t he? He’s so much better than everyone else, and he manages to do it in the most boring way possible. It only makes sense that he would go as a wizard, too, albeit a younger, equally badass version of Gandalf.
Chuck Neinas: Batman
When a program – or even a conference – is in trouble, just throw up the Neinas signal and college football’s marquee consultant swoops in to save the day. (For a small fee, of course.)
Neinas brandishes his trust rolodex and signature back-slapping maneuver.
Playoff: A Unicorn
You’re about as likely to see one in your lifetime as the other.
BCS: Turd In A Punch Bowl
The BCS just stood on our porch with its hand out. We eventually tried to shoo it away, but the damn thing just wouldn’t leave.
